I'm sick, but I'll be back

So, I have a cold and I have no energy.  I'll be back with a new post as soon as I feel better. Stay tuned. :)

The Potato Chip Moratorium

Recently, I have been binging on potato chips and dip (cheese dip, onion dip, no dip). Binging is a nice word for what I've been doing. Anywho, I finished off some last week and just felt sick. Not sick, like I'm a bad person, but sick like - wow, I am eating way to much of this. It needs to stop.

So, I wrote it in  my journal to my counselor. And I told my guy. Now, I'm telling ya'll. This way I know I'm accountable. No more chips until after May 1. No exceptions. I'm determined to break the cycle. It's on my calendar - that's how serious I am.

Six weeks, no chips.

Then last night, I had a dream I was eating potato chips and I felt really bad about it. Weird, right? I feel like the chips have a little too much influence if I'm dreaming about them. Just made me more determined. "Take that chips! Your Machiavelli plan back-fired."

My gummy bear addiction may need to be addressed next, but moderation in all things - even moratoriums. I can hear my gummy bears crying, "That's crazy talk, Clancy! Come back from the ledge." It's okay gummy bears, I'm not doing anything drastic. Yet. (Maybe never  - my heart is kind of on board with the gummy bears. Just saying.)

Anyone else having food issues?

More DWTS update and Into the Woods

So, last night I watched the second night of Dancing with the Stars and wow, wow, wow. I am totally crushing on Robert Herjavec, Michael Sam and Noah Galloway. And maybe a little on Riker Lynch. AND I was uber - UBER - disappointed that RedFoo is gone. I like him so much and wanted to see him continue. So, that sucked. Everyone was dancing great, btw.

But, and this is a big but, I felt real bad for Charlotte McKinney. I do not understand why people have to be so damn cruel - like others don't have feelings. She received loads of cyber-bullying hate-crap on various social media sites which I think is just shit. She's a sweet girl who can not help that she has the body she has and does not deserve that kind of abuse. It takes so little to be nice, so why do people think that it's ok to act like that, to treat others like that? I just don't get it. I know I'm preaching to the choir, cuz I'm certain that my peeps are not like that at all. :)

Now, on to Into the Woods. It was released yesterday and I couldn't wait to rush out and buy it. And then I was hard pressed to not watch it that afternoon and instead wait till my guy got home to watch with him, but somehow I had that restraint (applause please). And then I watched it and OMG!!! So good. So very, very good.

No spoilers, so don't fret if you haven't seen it yet.

First off, it actually made me cry at one point toward the end (it involves Emily Blunt) - you'll know the scene when you see it. I hate crying, but any movie that can sneak up on me and get me to tears is pretty damn good. Just saying. I'm not that kind of gooey. My nearest and dearest can attest to that.

Second, Chris Pine as Prince Charming? Oh thank you movie gods that made that match in heaven. He is so totally delicious, it's criminal. Best line ever, "I was raised to be charming, not sincere." Seriously, best line ever! A vapid prince - I love it.

My only regret is that there isn't more of Johnny Depp as the Wolf.

The music, the cast (incredible cast - too many to name), the story, the incredible weaving together of classic story tales. It was all so amazing. I will be watching this several more times in the very near future. Several more times. Very, very near future. Just saying.

An update on DWTS

Now that the season premier has happened and I've 'met' the stars, I'll update my thoughts.

Surprise standout was the millionaire Shark Tank guy, Robert Herjavek!  What a cutie - he was charming, fun, entertaining and a good dancer. Rooting for him to go far... maybe Kym can get that car.

Another surprise was Riker Lynch. Allison described him as 'rough around the edges' and that is for sure. But he's also a good dancer and charming in his own youthful way.

Noah Galloway was amazeballs! Strong (mentally and physically), wicked cute, and just wow - inspirational. Rooting for him in a big way.

Patti LaBelle was grace personified in both her personality and her dancing.

Nastia Luikin was as expected. She'll be good. Not sure if she's someone I want to root for yet though. No warm fuzzies for her, yet - except that she's with Derek.

Charlotte McKinney - I hope her dancing improves because she seems like a real sweetheart.

RedFoo - Love him!  He is infectious with personality and will enjoy watching him for a long while.

Michael Sam was another really good dancer. I'm thrilled he's on the show and I'll be watching for him come September too!  Can we say a big hell yeah for equality for all, please and thank you!!

Willow Shields surprised me. She was very mature for her age and a pretty good dancer to boot. So, go Willow.

Rumer Willis was a stellar dancer and I think she'll go a long ways (she may be this season's Alfonso Ribeiro). It was way cool seeing her mom, dad and siblings in the audience.

Suzanne Somers was another that is so sweet I hope her dancing improves so she can stay a while. And holy moly does she look good. Sixty-eight?  I think sexy-eight is more like it.

Chris Soules was a charmer. I don't watch the Bachelor/ette shows so I didn't know him from Adam, but he seems like a nice guy. And his dancing was pretty good. I'm enjoying his presence.

That's all of them...So far, no one is irritating me and that always makes for a nicer season. My favs at the moment for the finale are Robert Herjavec, Michael Sam and Rumer Willis. We'll see how my predictions do.

The Odd Couple & The Last Man on Earth

The Last Man on Earth. I'm not sure about this one.

I think Will Forte is perfect for the last man on earth cuz he has enough endearingness to him personally to make me like him despite some unattractive traits he has. On one hand, I'm with him - stop signs and parking spaces mean nothing if you're the only vehicle around. On the other hand - if you don't take the time (and all you have is time) to take care of yourself on a basic level, like personal grooming and some modicum of cleanliness to your living space, then yes, you will become despondent and depressed. So, there are definitely things I like and don't like about Phil as a character.

Let's talk about Carol. Carol is the last woman on earth and though Kristen Schaal is good in the role, she is also playing a bad stereotype of a hen-pecking, anal-retentive, control freak of a wife-type. Not flattering, but not the actresses fault (this would be on the writers). I agree a woman would probably bother to stay more clean, personally and with her surroundings, than Phil is managing. And yes, it is kind of funny that she chooses to be a grammar-cop, but that she feels the need to 'fix' Phil and act as though she is in charge and the last word in what is right or wrong is less funny and more bad stereo-typing. It just sort of hit a wrong note with me.

I'll probably give it couple more episodes before I decide yay or nay.

Now, The Odd Couple I really liked, Mathew Perry is a perfect sports slob Oscar Madison and Thomas Lennon could not be more perfect as the over-the-top annoying clean freak, Felix Unger. I always loved this show - the old TV show with Jack Klugman and Tony Randall, and the movies with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon. It's just a brilliant concept that Neil Simon gave us in his original play that spurred on these renditions.

Matthew Perry has played both sides of this if you think back to the neurotic Chandler Bing from Friends. I like him as a thoughtless, shallow slob hiding his heart of gold. And Thomas Lennon... OMG... he is priceless as Felix. So funny and sweet and vulnerable and irritating and ... well you get the idea. Perfect casting.

The supporting cast with Dave Foley, Wendell Pierce, Yvette Nicole Brown, Leslie Bibb, and Lindsay Sloane is a perfect blend of funny.

Anyway - I think this is a good modern version of a timeless story and it will only get better as everyone settles into their groove.

CSI: Cyber

Next up, CSI: Cyber. I've had this one on my radar for months and months. It was announced with the CBS's Fall line-up (I think) and then we had to wait forever for it to start. But I'm glad it's arrived finally. It was worth the wait.

I realize that none of the CSI, NCIS, or alphabet soup shows are factual in the time and attention they give cases, but I love them anyway. Let's just get that out of the way. They entertain me and I love the science of what they are doing.

This newest installment to the CSI franchise is about cyber crimes, so anything that involves electronics, basically. Not only do we get cool crimes and awesome science, we get hackers! Love, L-O-V-E, love me some geeky hackers (think Hackers, War Games, Live Free or Die Hard, Sneakers, or TRON just to name a few... there are so many. Just gave myself  some geeky warm fuzzies thinking about them all.). So, yeah.... , we have hackers and crime solving goodness all rolled up in one.

Patricia Arquette. Under-rated and under-appreciated to my mind. She did just win the Best Supporting Actress Oscar, which is awesome,but I'm thrilled I'm going to see her more regularly. Can I just say, I love her teeth and mouth. I'm not sure what it is about them, but it's sexy. And her eyes. Mesmerizing. And she's great. She really is. She's got a crazy awesome talented family and she is truly a fine actress. In this show, she leads a hacker team who save the day. I love that. And that's how Garcia came to work for the BAU in Criminal Minds. It's just a great concept.

Though I may not know loads about techy stuff, I love watching people who do.

The supporting cast is also great. They have Peter MacNicol, James Van Der Beek, and some people were going to get to know well - Charley Koontz, Hayley Kioko and Shad Moss.

Enjoying the ride. Thank you, CBS.

Battle Creek

This is going to be a TV week. Four new shows.

First up, Battle Creek. I've been jazzed to watch Battle Creek for a couple months. CBS has been pimping it for quite a while and I'm glad cuz maybe that will mean they'll keep it around for a while. Why, you ask? Let me tell you. :)

The cast. Josh Duhamel has been around for a while now and what's not to love. He's tall and handsome and a good actor and yummy and he kicked ass all over the Decepticons in the Transformer movies and he was completely endearing as a RomCom lead in Life as We Know It. All around good stuff.

And then there's Dean Winters. Who else completely loved - LOVED - him as Mayhem in the Allstate commercials? Brilliant! He's got a long list of roles, more in TV than movies, but still, I'm thrilled the man is finally getting some well-deserved focus as a lead (besides Mayhem) and not just as one in an ensemble cast or in secondary and tertiary roles. He's yummy too... actually even more yummy than the delicious Josh Duhamel, but I like rougher than prettier. Just saying. And there is a character in the show, Holly (played by Aubrey Dollar), who agrees with me.

Also, I love it when we get unconventional settings. Anyone can do New York or Los Angeles, but Battle Creek, Michigan? Yes! That's what I'm talking about.

It's a cop-buddy show. Love cop shows and buddy journeys. These two have a grudging respect for each other despite the vast differences between their styles. It's almost Oscar and Felix with badges.

The supporting cast has Kal Penn, Grapevine and Liza Lapira and more.... I like the entire cast.

Anywho, I really like the show and am looking forward to more.

Austin Powers and Mike Myers

I think Mike Myers is all kinds of genius. I do. Wayne Cambell. Shrek. His stints on SNL. His Canadian sports commentator in Mystery, Alaska.  Playing his character's father in So I Married An Ax Murderer. And of course, Austin Powers. Definitely Austin Powers.  

After seeing Kingsmen: The Secret Service which I felt was a nice blend of Austin Powers and James Bond, I had to get me an Austin fix. I'm sad to announce that my significant other had not seen any Austin Powers, but he enjoyed it immensely. I'm still working on his film and television education. He had many deprived years for which I am trying to compensate.

Anywho, we came straight home from the Kingsmen and watched the first Austin Power's movie., Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. And though I'm not such a fan of the second film, Goldmember, we did get Mini-Me and Nigel Powers out of it, so that's a plus. On the flip side, I'm not a big fan of Beyonce and Fat Bastard was kind of gross.

Standouts:
- Mimi Rogers is so pretty. I love her mouth. I dunno what else to say about that.
- The naked moments with strategic prop placement. So funny and well done.
- Scott Evil. Could Seth Green be any cuter than as Scott Evil? I don't think so. In the first movie, when he and Dr. Evil are in father/son counseling? OMG, fuuny!
- The incredible casts across all three films.
- Hooray for Dr.Evil and Mini Me. Cuz you cannot get enough Dr. Evil. Truly. He cracks me up all the time and then to have Verne Troyer's mini version. Love it!
- The Fembots with their nipple guns.... LMAO.
- That Austin is able to short circuit the fembots with his sex appeal... LMFAO.

Big Hero 6

Hopefully the comic book purists won't burn me in effigy for this, but I scanned some background on the Marvel comic series of Big Hero 6 and I'm glad they morphed it into the animated feature film it became (and won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature). And maybe I'm totally out in left field (not unheard of at all) and the movie did the comic books credit - I really have no clue.

What I do know is that I thought the movie was wicked cute and Baymax is the sweetest darn robot out there. Although in a quick tangent, Chappie the robot in the movie Chappie may come close -but I may not be able to see that one for a while because it looks like a serious tear jerker. And movies that take creatures out of their element or create something unique and then crucify said unique thing for being what it is (King Kong, the Jurassic Park dinosaur they bring to Los Angeles, Johnny five in Short Circuit, Ceasar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes for a few). It just puts my panties in a real twist we when punish others for our own stupidity. Tangent (rant) over.

So Baymax.... seriously.... the voice, the behaviors, the care. So. Freaking. Cute!

The whole story was a good one. Heartfelt, had a message, features regular people becoming super heroes. Just all around cute and better than I had expected. I think this one is under-rated and under-appreciated. So, unless you're like my mom who finds anything animated anathema, do yourself a favor and give this one  watch.

Dancing with the Stars

The new season of Dancing with the Stars starts in a week on March 16th. Woohoo!!

In anticipation, I am re-watching the last season. See, I save all the shows on my DVR a season at a time and then re-watch before the new season starts and delete them then. But, I always have at least some DWTS on my DVR so I never have to be without. Smart, huh? When I'm re-watching, I don't watch the whole show, since I've seen it all, I just re-watch the dances.

Tangent - I really wish they would just sell the seasons on disc so I could buy them all. But no. For whatever reason that I am not privy to, DWTS and So You Think You Can Dance, do not put the shows on DVD or Blue-ray or whatever. This makes me exceptionally sad as there are so many dances I could just watch over and over. Anywho, the point is I save a season and watch the dances again just before the next season starts which is where I am at now.

The pros. Always happy when Derek is dancing. He's my hands down favorite and I think he is just the most creative choreographer (although Mark Ballas's Mario Brother's freestyle was incredible). Other pro's I like a lot that will be dancing this season  include... well,  all of them except I'm still trying to warm up to Allison and Keo.

The Stars (or at least the ones I have feelings about).
Noah Calloway (soldier). Love soldiers, what they represent, the service they've done for our country - just everything. And JR Martinez (soldier) won when he was on and Noah is dealing with an amputee challenge, but Amy Purdy showed just how little that slowed her down cuz she came in 2nd for her season.

Patti LaBelle (singer) - I suspect she will be gracious and lovely to watch as her spirit comes across that way.

Nastia Luikin (gymnast) - the last time a gymnast, Shawn Johnson, partnered with Derek Hough, they won. So, she has some potential from the starting gate.

RedFoo - I am super jazzed to watch him. He's guest judged before and I love LMFAO. I think Emma Slater should have a good time with him.

Michael Sam (NFL player) and first openly gay NFL player. So yay for him. Coming out for anyone is hard enough and when it's in the public eye and in a sport like football - uber not easy. So, for courage and living authentic, I'll be rooting for this guy!

Willow Shields (actress) - I like the Hunger Game movies as much as the next person, but I always found Prim, Katniss's little sister, a bit annoying, but that is not Willow's fault. So, I'm keeping an open mind.

Suzanne Somers (actress) - another one like Patti LaBelle for me.

Rumer Willis (actress) - We shall see. I liked her in The House Bunny, so keeping an open mind.

Overall, just excited for a new season of cool ass dancing.

Steve Buscemi

Okay, Steve Buscemi has a really, really, really long list of acting credits. Loads more than I knew. But I sometimes think he is one of those sadly underrated actors who shuffles into the background and we may not remember but we always notice. He's a favorite of mine and now I have a really long list of things to try and see just for their Buscemi-ness.

His look is certainly so distinctive that you can't fail to recognize him when you see him. The eyes. the teeth. The hairline. The looks.... all singular. He can be so dry, so sarcastic, so funny, so creepy, so irreverent, so... you name it. He's just crazy talented.

Highlights for me (feel free to add your own in the comments):
Tangent - listing these movies makes me want to go watch them all over again! Not enough hours in the day for my addictions... sigh.

Reservoir Dogs - Great film, impressive cast, directed by Quentin Tarantino. Funny and dark and violent. And so easy to love. This is a classic must see film. Just saying.

Fargo - More dark comedy. He's just a natural fit. His manic competent/incompetent thing works. There is so much right about the wrongness of this film. And it's another steller cast.

Con Air - For me, he was at his most creepy in this film. He's absolutely mesmerizing and unpredictable. Chilling! And surrounded by another great cast.

Armageddon - I recently talked about this one. But again, he's so funny as Rockhound.

Monsters, Inc - Even his voice is singular. Randall is a slippery suck up and who better to voice him than Buscemi. Seriously. And an all-star cast of voices. Are we seeing a trend?

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone - OMG, this one is just cheesy great fun. And another awesome cast. Buscemi, Steve Carell and Jim Carrey make magician-ing look good. Not Criss Angel good, More like a car wreck you can't take your eyes off - good. (Possibly a very bad metaphor - my apologies). But so good.

Final words, Steve Buscemi is great talent, a singular individual (which is redundant, I know but he is singular in his singularity - just go with it), and versatile. So very, very versatile. Now I have a ton of Buscemi-ness to catch up on.

"Kingsmen: The Secret Service"

Hello?! This was G-R-E-A-T!!!

This is what an old fashioned fun spy movie should be. It's somewhere between the silliness of Austin Powers and the seriousness of James Bond. Perfect balance of action, drama, comedy, cool gadgets and smart-dressed people.

Colin Firth is so good as a dashing action hero. Taron Egerton, who plays his protege, was terrific too. My friend and I pondered if he wouldn't have been a better Christian Grey than the one they cast. I dunno. Anyway, you've also got Michael Caine, Mark Strong and Jack Davenport. I couldn't figure out who the Professor was at the beginning, but he looked so familiar.... It was Mark Hamilton! Cool!

And can I just say that Samuel L Jackson and Sofia Boutella were the greatest villain and henchman team ever.  Seriously... ever. Jackson in his color coordinated ball cap and clothes and the lisp. Loved the lisp. And he can't stand blood. So freaking funny. And Boutella as his number one with her slice and dice prosthetic legs. OMG. Loved it all.

Some SPOILERS BELOW....

When Firth says, "Manners Maketh Man" and then kicks ass all over a group of punks. YES!! And when Egerton does the same at the end. Oh, hell yes! Best movie quote in quite a while.

And when the princess of Sweden (I think it was Sweden) says Egerton can have sex with in the asshole if he saves the world, I just about snorted up soda thru my nose.

Just see it. I'm gonna see it again and then buy it and then see it a few more times. Count on it.

American Sniper

Last week, the man who killed Chris Kyle and his friend Chad Littlefield was convicted of murder.  And though I’m glad there is some kind of justice for these two families, I want to talk about the movie that brought Chris Kyle’s life to the front of our collective minds. I haven’t read the book and I haven’t read a lot of the news stuff either, but I did see the movie. I saw his widow at the Oscars talking about the movie too.

It is not an easy thing to take another’s life so it is a rare few who are courageous enough to bear that burden for the sake of protecting our own. Chris Kyle seems to have been a rare man indeed.

Bradley Cooper played Chris Kyle brilliantly. I knew going in to the movie that I was likely to cry (and we know how I feel about that) but I wanted to see this story, this honor being paid to the real Chris Kyle, his story and his family. So, I sat transfixed watching a man do what he felt honor-bound to do despite his own mental well-being and the possible loss of his own life, and his wife and child. He was clear on what he felt he had to do and he did it unflinchingly over and over again.

The movie showed well how his struggles, his grace, his patriotism and his courage.

So, I made it thru the entire movie without a tear although it was a gut wrenching watch and then the end credits started to roll where they began showing the clips of the real Chris Kyle, his family, the people lining the streets to honor the motorcade to his funeral, the stadium full of people paying tribute to a real American Hero… I lost it. Then the tears flowed freely. And they were deserved. What a loss.

Here’s to Chris Kyle and his family!

My personal thoughts on the 50 Shades movie

So, some friends knew I was going to see this movie, and asked if I would give them my thoughts after. Here they are as I gave them to my friends. 

The positives:

- Dakota Johnson was believable as Anastasia. She was shy and innocent and vulnerable and confused (as she should have been with the lack of credible information given her).

- As far as I got into the book, the movie is better because I found the book so boring it was unreadable.I may have gotten as far as the coffee shop in the book. Could have been 20 pages or 80 I have no recollection except that it felt interminable. So I stopped. I have no idea from that point on how close the movie follows the book. Maybe somebody will tell me who has experienced both.

- I suppose the sexy, fun parts where she is enjoying what he's doing are fair enough. Yes, that is what BDSM can be - good, sexy fun times that include various other sensations (except she really doesn't 'get' what is happening to her, so for me she is still giving consent where she doesn't have enough knowledge to make an informed decision - see more points on this below).

- He does give her safewords.

The negatives:

- I didn't believe Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey at all. He had no power about him. Never smiling and being impatient with everyone does not a powerful person make. 

- I didn't feel the chemistry between Anna and Christian. 

- And he wasn't likable. Anna's roommate isn't likable either. Her mother blows off her graduation and isn't sympathetic either. So, it kind of makes me think Anna is a little too stupid to live. 

- A D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship is based on an exchange of power and he gave her absolutely no knowledge of the joys of that from which to make an informed decision. Just bossing someone around does not a dominant make. And just letting someone boss you around does not a submissive make.

- He acted like a newbie playing Dom. He didn't bother to explain terminology, toys, tools, the energy exchange, nothing to her. He just said here, read my contract that says I get to do this and you have to do that and that's all you need to know. Bullshit. She had no reason to trust him and he gave her none at any point in the journey by actually taking care of her mentally - like explaining shit to her. You can't buy trust. And your only real currency is your reputation (aka trust). He might be a rich man in the vanilla world, but were he in any reputable BDSM community, he would be bankrupt.

- If he really wanted her to research BDSM and submission, he would have supplied her with some direction of good websites vs inaccurate ones and maybe given her some books to read by reputable authors. He wouldn't have just given her a computer and said Google submissive, so all she really got was a lot of pictures of women in restraints and so forth. 

- She acted like it was a game from beginning to end and he acted like it was all serious and business-like. If he was as smart as EL James wanted us to believe, then she would have made Christian slow down and explain why it wasn't a game so at least both characters were on the same page. 

- I found it incredibly cowardly that he told her about his youth when she was obviously asleep and couldn't hear it.

- I hate the fact that the kinky person here is also the emotionally distant, broken, abused person. That he learned BDSM when he was age 15 from an older lady pisses me off because it carries implication that people in this lifestyle are all either fucked up emotionally or pedophiles. We don't have one good example of someone in the lifestyle owning what they like as a positive example of a healthy person who simply enjoys giving or receiving intense stimulation. 

- In my experience, if you are going to punish your submissive for breaking a rule or bad behavior, you wouldn't use toys/tools to do it. The basic premise is that you don't create negative connotations and connections with things that are supposed to give pleasure.  Examples: My submissive does the dishes. If I punish him by making him do the dishes on command, then now he isn't making a positive connection with the dishes as a task he does as a service to me, he is seeing them as something bad. OR if he likes being flogged or whipped then if I punish him by flogging or whipping him, I'm taking away the joy of that. These should be rewards, not punishments. If I really want to punish him, then I'd give him some inane task like pushing a foam peanut around the edge of a coffee table with his nose or something equally inane and not fun. That's a punishment that isn't tainting the good stuff. SO, when Christian spanks her as a punishment, I thought well, that's stupid. If you want her to enjoy spanking, well you just fucked that up mister! His leaving, was more of a punishment. But he's now connected the spanking, his leaving and punishment together and that's how she's likely to remember those things in the future.

- And BDSM relationships are fun and loving and that he acted as though it isn't. We do what we do because it feels good to us. It brings us joy. That she doesn't ever get to touch him or sleep with him were just him being a fucked up individual, not indicative of him being into BDSM. He is completely right when he says he of fifty shades of fucked up. Thanks again, EL James, for putting out more stupid stereotypes that make my community and lifestyle look bad. 

- Any reputable top would not just wail on their bottom like he does with the belt towards the end. They would warm them up first, they would care that she isn't enjoying this. A heavy bottom might like that kind of thing, but why would you just beat on someone new like that when they really don't even understand enough to knowledgeably consent? 

- He never explains what she is consenting to emotionally, only physically. So, that's a great way to break your bottom. Good job, Christian. And thanks again, Ms James, for making us look like a lot of assholes.

Overall, the movie irritates me for the inaccuracies of the spirituality and connection that people can share doing what we do. It's like having enough knowledge and lingo to make it look good, but underneath, it's so wrong as to be dangerous.

In my humble opinion.