I recently had coffee (or hot chocolate cuz I don't drink coffee) with a newish friend. He's been suffering through some mental and physical health issues and I could relate having recently been depressed and going through a lot of physical stuff with my ever-deteriorating body. So there we were chatting away for a few hours and at one point he said he didn't have any friends. That struck me as so sad. When I said I was his friend anyone really only needs one good one...he teared up. It was a really profound moment for me.
I'm very fortunate in that I have a lot of friends. Long time friends (20+ years) and some from my youth that I'm still in contact with. I have a circle of five who I know would drop everything to help me in any way they could and another twenty or so that I could still pretty consistently ask for help if I needed. And these are not blood family, although I have five or six people there that I can count on as well. My besties, hardcore friends and even a lot of good friends are my chosen family and I know who I can depend on and for what. That is a huge blessing. And I do not take lightly.
I'm always saying that to have good friends, you have to be a good friend. I think I am a good friend and that is why I am so fortunate in my friendships. They know they can count on me as much as I can count on them and it's a loyalty that is sacred to me.
I was at an event yesterday that was chock full of my BDSM chosen family and it was a loving, supportive, mutually respectful group celebrating our peers and their accomplishments. It was hours of hugs and conversations and toasts and laughter and tears and just everything wonderful because we were together in celebration. I would wish this kind of love and support for everyone.
Last month I was with five of my writer friends for a weekend and that too was wonderful and supportive and fun and inspiring. So, yeah, I am a truly blessed individual when it comes to this.
So, as this very sweet and sad man was opening up to me, I felt very deeply the value of friendship and chosen family. Very deeply that he was now a part of that and I told him I was a hard friend to get rid of because I don't have to be in regular contact to maintain my friendships. That I could talk to them once a year, but when we did talk, it was as though we saw each other yesterday.
To all my friends, I love you and appreciate the role you play in my life.
Any of you who are also blessed with a friend or friends, don't forget to treasure them.